Finding Grace When Life’s Changes Kick You in the Ass
Then 2020 comes and turns it all upside down. For years… YOU KNOW THE STORY.
Fast forward to 2024. I’ve been in a rut with my own training lately and realize that all I need to do is show up at the gym. Show up. Like, walk to the gym, into the front doors, up the stairs, past the front desk, and into the weight room.
Warm up.
Do whatever exercises I want to do that day because I SHOWED UP and that’s my prize. This means zero squats, thanks very much.
It also means I aim to stay for 15 minutes. Two weeks later it happens to turn to 30. And, three months later, turns to 50. And the time span feels the same as it did in the 15 minute days.
Then I had an idea: Let’s revisit my training programs from the good old days, you know, for fun. Those good ole 2019 days.
For context, my 2019 goal was to one day deadlift 250lbs*. I’d gotten to 200 pretty quickly and safely (obvi) so this seemed like the next obvious step. Until the world changed and I used my dogs as weights, drank lots of wine during covid happy hours, made French comfort food every night, and… You know. You lived through this time, too.
I copied the first day of the program from 2019 which called for deadlifting 135-145lbs for three sets of five reps. “Well, this used to be my warmup weight,” I thought. “This should be pretty easy.”
Nope. Not easy. Crushingly difficult, actually. “Crushingly” specifically because it USED to feel easy. In 2019 and before.
So I took a break, did some resets, and went back to the bar. I shook myself off and reminded myself that 2019 was a long time ago. Like, a lifechangingpandemicly long time ago.
Should I feel proud of lifting something super heavy that used to be a warmup?
YOU BETCHA!
So as not to dwell in the past…
You know what we all need in 2024**?
Grace. We need to have some grace. So. Much. Grace.
Not self care. Self care is different. Self care often brings with it baggage like having to buy things to make us happy.
I’m talking bathing ourselves in gratitude and honor.
But what would that even look like? What is grace for us these days, what could it be?
I’ll start!!
What if it included:
Celebrating Small Victories: Recognize progress, no matter how small, as a step towards your larger goals. Cheezy? Yes. Real? Yes.
Saying FYou to Comparisons of Victories Past: Feel proud of an accomplishment that is difficult today but was easy five years ago. It does not diminish any of your past achievements. AND, multiple things being true at the same time, live in the NOW and high five yourself for every step taken.
Imbibing Responsibly: Enjoy that drink/brownie/”brownie” if it’s there to taste good and elevate the evening’s activities (vs using the above to numb out***).
Saying “Meh, no”: High five yourself for choosing not to have that drink/brownie/”brownie” because it was an active choice and didn’t feel right at the time.
Creeping On Yourself: Look yourself in the mirror and think, “Hi, I love you and your changing body, and you’re hot, and you take care of yourself in the ways you can and deserve so many accolades.”
Listening to Your Body: Acknowledge when you need to operate at a 6 out of 10, 2 out of 10, or 10 out of 10 so you can save yourself from overtraining, feeling shitty about yourself because you’re not performing at your best because you’ve been awake since 2:30AM, or leaving too much on the table. Check in with yourself before you train to see where you’re at.
Maintaining Consistency: Show up even when you don't feel like it because consistency breeds results. Seriously. Showing up to the gym for a 15-minute workout and doing that multiple times a week WILL yield results because it’ll also help us stay away from all-or-nothing thinking. See anecdote above.
Embracing the Journey: Understand that things are sometimes super easy (in the beforetimes, the currenttimes, whatweexpectfromourselves) and setbacks are a part of the process and that each step, even the hard ones, are valuable.
Revisiting Goals: Be flexible with your goals based on current circumstances and progress. This means you can lower your expectations if needed OR rethink how much you’re really able to do (I can help you with that!).
Finding Joy In the Process: Do exercises you love to keep the fitness motivation and enjoyment alive. And… please understand that your trainer might make you things you don’t like but will try to help you laugh in the process.
Building a Supportive Environment: Surround yourself with people who encourage and motivate you. This doesn’t mean they’ll be staring at you. It means that they’re there to hold you up no matter what. If you’re in the Evanston area, this could be TruFit. If it’s outside, I might be able to give you a referral.
And remember, showing up is half the battle. Let's give ourselves grace and celebrate each step of the journey.
*I understand the numbers I’m throwing out sound bonkers to a lot of people (like, my mom). There was a time that deadlifting 45lbs sounded bonkers to me. We all start somewhere.
**I’m writing this in July of 2024. Our needs might change in the next few months.
***PLEASE, if you’re feeling like you need to numb out, talk to someone. This is a great place to start if you’re looking for a therapist. Also, please talk with your doctor.
